The Talk

Monkey and I had 'the talk' tonight. It was hilarious. We were eating dinner, talking about my SIL, Susy, who has found herself unexpectedly pregnant. She already has 4 children (who were planned), and was on the pill, but somehow got herself knocked up anyway. She and BIL are both pretty happy about it, particularly BIL, who now feels his sperm are somehow embued with superpowers.

So Monkey asked how babies are made. She had asked once before, when she was really little, and I sort of gave her a quick rundown, without involving any words like penis or vagina.

Tonight must have just been the perfect night for her to ask, because we got into all the details. At first, she was confused about where the man puts his penis, and pointed to the back door, which caused Loki to choke on his food, and strongly suggest that the back door is a one way street - poop goes out, nothing goes in. I left it there, because I really was not willing to get into the subject of anal sex - our topic was procreation, and that's what I was going to describe.

To her credit, while Loki was choking and Sio was covering her face with embarassment, Monkey was totally cool about the whole thing. After describing physically how it happens, we sort of added the context that I endorse for my children: sex is a wonderful activity to be enjoyed by adults who are committed to one another. We talked about the possible negative consequences of sex - unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases. We talked about how her private parts are hers and no one is allowed to touch them. I let her know that if she has any other questions, she can come to me and I will be honest with her. And we suggested that she not share her newfound knowledge with any of her school mates, because this is the kind of thing kids should learn about from their parents.

At the end of the conversation, Monkey was laughing about the whole thing, and then she paused and said "So Susy had sex with S. (BIL) 5 times? I'll never be able to look at her again!"

Man, I love that kid.