So my eldest is engaged and they've picked a date, which is 2 years away. I am slightly astonished at how obsessed I am with wedding planning right now. I can't stop thinking about it. I keep reading Offbeat Bride, I scan through bridal magazines on the rack at the bookstore/grocery store, and Google lace wedding dresses (she wants a lace wedding dress). I have contacted venues and photographers so I plan my budget (I'm not paying for the whole thing, but I am contributing).
Perhaps it's just because I got married because I was pregnant and I didn't know what else to do. I was madly in love, too, but ambivalent about the subject of marriage. When I was in high school, I planned to just have a series of fabulous lovers, never marry, and never have children. The only time I have been more scared than the day I got married was the day I went into labor. I had a brief thought on my way to the hospital that I really didn't want to do what I was about to do, but it's kind of late to do anything about that when you're already 5 cm dilated.
Or maybe it's because I'm in love. And I know he wants to marry me. And I'm still kind of ambivalent about the idea of marriage. But the idea of having a big party with your family and friends to celebrate love is pretty appealing.
Or maybe it's because the news is so depressing (continued war, horrible economy, starving babies in Somalia, etc.) that it's a welcome distraction to look at beautiful spaces and dresses.
Whatever it is, I need to calm the eff down, because it's not my wedding!