I need a digital camera or possibly a camera phone. I know that sounds more like a want, which would mean I should add it to the post below, but I'm convinced it is a necessity.
For example, if I had a digital camera, I could take a picture of this ginormous truck that arrives at work the same time I do everyday. It's some kind of 4x4, wide-hipped truck with extra tires on the back wheels. It's not a Hummer, but it has the same affect. And on the back window, there is a Terrorist Hunting Permit, so the driver can let everyone know what kind of badass he is.
And I want to take a picture of this monstrosity after the driver of the vehicle gets out. The driver is an attorney who is roughly my height, which might actually make him a little person. He's diminutive. He's tiny. He's wee. Other words that could be used to accurately describe him: dweeby, nebbish, geeky, nerdy.
I just laugh at the level of overcompensation the vehicle is making for the man. And I can't help but wonder if he's like one of those men who wears a toupee. Look in the mirror, man. Be who you really are. Embrace your nebbishy inner dweeb. Put a Starfleet Academy sticker on the back of your Honda Civic and let go of your fuel burning external penis substitute.