I am giddy

and feeling flushed with success.

After getting some wildly different advice from a number of people about my leek seeds, I was convinced I had killed them. I kept watching for any sign of life from the little cups of earth, but nothing showed up.

Tonight, though....tonight I checked on my cups of dirt and saw a tiny shoot of green. And another and another.





I did not kill my leeks! They are actually growing! Now all my fussing over them, and putting them outside in the sun, and bringing them back in at night, and covering them with saran wrap is finally paying off!

How does your garden grow?

Monkey and I are going to have a vegetable garden this year. I've been all talk on this subject in the past, but today, I mailed my soil sample to the UCONN Home & Garden Center, so they can let me know exactly how to improve my soil for veggie production, and yesterday evening, Monkey and I started our leeks.

We have a tiny yard, so we're going to have a small garden. I did a little research, and we're going to have raised beds - I'm still undecided about whether to have 4 of them or 5 of them. Our selected crops for this first time around are:

leeks
asparagus (which is why we might have 5 beds, since they stay in the same place for 20 years)
peas
green beans
tomatoes
cucumbers
radishes
peppers
carrots
and probably a small herb garden

I am known to have a black thumb, so I'm going to rely on Monkey's youth and enthusiasm and experience helping our neighbors with their vegetable garden to get me through this. We're not bothering with zucchini because everyone and their brother grows that and we always seem to end up with a brown paper bag full of them when they are ripe. I hope to update with pictures, but my camera doesn't seem to want to let go of any of the pictures I take anymore, so that might not happen.

I remember boredom

and it was good.

This year is now approaching the speed of light, having surpassed the speed of sound roughly Wednesday evening, when I was singing - again - for the adorably pretentious students at the Hartt School of Music, who listen with their eyes closed as if the chorus had actually rehearsed and prepared extensively, with their Chairman Mao t-shirts and Che Guevara hats and their parents' old Volvos and BMWs waiting for them in the parking lot, while I have to climb into a crappy, beat-up Chevy Cavalier.

Sucks to be poor.

Not only has this year been fast, it has also been expensive, with car accidents and brakes and the insurance company continually denying coverage to my oldest, even though I've called them about it numerous times.

I haven't been home in a week, except to sleep, and I have an extra child coming to my house tonight, even though there is no food there. And I have to sing tomorrow, and then finally, finally a little break, a social event that I won't describe in detail since it is a surprise, but it will be so welcome to sit back and just gab.

Next weekend: already booked. The weekend after that: already booked.

Next question: why do I still feel lonely even though I'm always busy?

Concert

My a cappella group, Harmonious Soul, had a concert on Friday night, and it went really well. We had a good crowd, and I felt relaxed and energetic. I was so pleased to see so many of my friends and family in the audience, and I appreciated the kind comments of everyone after the concert. We had a recording mic set up, but we're not sure if our (volunteer) music board guy turned it on, so maybe we'll have a recording, maybe we won't.

My next event is next Sunday, when I'll be singing in the Women Composer's Festival Chorus at the Sisters of Saint Joseph in West Hartford, which is the start of the Women Composers Festival. I'll be singing in other events for the festival on the 11th, 13th and 15th. If you are interested in seeing Harmonious Soul perform, we will be singing at the A Cappella Concert on Friday, March 13th. We have a good set put together, of music composed by and/or arranged by women, including a couple of pieces arranged by one of our members.

Amused or annoyed? Amunnoyed? Annused?

Two things are both amusing me and annoying me tonight.

The first is that KFC commercial that's been running lately. There's a cute, non-threatening woman, talking about the fresh ingredients and 11 herbs & spices, and how does she know this much about KFC? Well, it's because she's the cook, and every KFC has one.

No shit? Every KFC - which, technically, qualifies as a restaurant, has A cook? A single cook? I'm just trying to imagine the writers sitting around the table of the advertising agency, tossing around ideas to make KFC more attractive. "I know, let's say that KFC food is cooked by....you're going to love this....a COOK! No one will expect it!"

The second thing is that I've read about 15 headlines tonight about why the "intensely private" or "fiercely private" Jennifer Aniston brought her boyfriend
John Mayer to the Oscars. My problem here is with suddenly having Jennifer Aniston, who I've seen smiling at me from literally hundreds of magazine covers, is suddenly fiercely private. I wonder if her publicist thought this would be a good way to position her?

Feel free to leave similar amusing/annoying things in comments!

Grumble, grumble

Aside from a great three hour breakfast with excellent company, and some laughs at an extra long final rehearsal for my upcoming concert (Friday, February 27, 2009, 7:00 p.m., Emmanuel Lutheran Church, 60 Church Street, Manchester, CT) my whole weekend was one to bitch about.

First, there were brake problems. They went from "hmm, do I hear something?" to full on scratching metal. So that had to be done. I can't even go into the whole red ant-hill of irritation that led to getting them fixed today, but suffice it to say, it was a good day to stay away from me.

Then, today I had two doctor's appointments, one with my orthopedist and one with my regular doctor. I was hoping the first one would lead to some final decisions, like WHEN I would get my hip replaced. Instead, they put me off for 2 more months. I did get to see my even funkier hip joint - the top of my femur is expanding around the outside of my pelvic bone as well as the inside of the ball. If you look at the front view, there is NO SPACE between the ball and joint. None. There is a tiny, tiny pocket of space if you look at it from the side. The doctor wants me to consider fusing, which would eliminate pain in my hip but would place an even heavier burden on my back and the rest of my joints (which is why I don't want to do that). Alternatively, I could get a cortisone shot into the tiny pocket of space, to relieve the inflammation. It could bring relief, or it could do nothing. I'm still undecided on that.

My second appointment was about my other ongoing problem, which is that I've had my period for 21 days now. Almost the entire month of February. So I got to have a sonographer look at my insides today, which was painless, but also frustrating, because she can't discuss the results. The radiologist has to look at them, and I'll be hearing from my doctor on Wednesday about that. So I feel like I'm dangling, looking for answers, but everyone is putting me off.

I'm starting to get a headache from not letting all this anger out.

I've been contemplating...

There are a lot of things I would like to write about, but I hold myself back because I think they are subjects that I *shouldn't* share. I may have a glitchy sense of what is appropriate or inappropriate to talk about, because I grew up in a House of Secrets. I have these duelling inclinations to to talk about things that I maybe shouldn't talk about, or not talk about things that I probably should talk about.

As Philip Larkin wrote, "they fuck you up, your mum and dad"

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

Long Weekends

I know I am getting old now, because on Friday nights, I can barely keep my eyes open past 9pm. But I started my long weekend by staying up until 10pm to watch Dollhouse, Joss Whedon's new show.

I didn't have high expectations for the show, so I can only say that, while it wasn't the greatest thing ever, it did exceed my expectations. Eliza Dushku may not have the chops to play a different character every week, but I think she might do better at that than at the other part of her character, as Echo, the "doll". She's lacking a certain depth at those kind of quieter parts.

The script was decidedly not Whedonesque, lacking his characteristic wit and humor, but that may be due to the procedural aspect of the show. I think it has potential, it wasn't great, but better than I expected. I was pretty much squeeing on the couch when I saw the Grrr-Argh monster again.

And I hope the IT guy on Dollhouse is the first main cast character to meet a horrible death.

Saturday passed by in blur. I knew it was Valentine's Day, but was not expecting anything. So I was pleasantly surprised when Loki presented me with a gift and a poem...which, technically, qualifies as another gift. The first gift was a CD of Van Morrison's Greatest Hits (which mystifyingly did not include Into the Mystic or Tupelo Honey, so I ask you, can you really call that a Greatest Hits CD?). The second gift is below:

Music hints at a God beyond the blue,
and, though Art on earthly pain is fed,
unbridled, our passions offer this clue:
Roses have often said -
even Violets know this to be true -
evenings are best with fresh-baked bread,
novels written in a month, wine, and you.

Sunday, we had birthdays to celebrate - my niece Molly and my father-in-law (FIL). Molly is sweet and guileless and enthusiastic, and she made me laugh by picking up the first present and saying "I have a feeling this is going to be the greatest gift of ALL TIME!"; and later, when holding a gift I wrapped (which means it was shaped like a lump and looked like either a young child or someone missing some fingers had wrapped it), said "It feels like.....like something." Yes, Molls, it was something, good guess.

Then I lost a wee fortune in pennies at Rummy Royal. I did not go out once. Three times I had a paying card in my hand that I never got to play; once, I had the king and queen of hearts in my hand, and didn't get to play them. It was a tragedy.

Monday was a day to savor because it was a day I did not have to go to work, and those days are always wonderful (even though I like my job, and I like working...really, if I didn't work, these work-free days would feel much less meaningful). Loki and I hung out at the bookstore. I learned how to format a screenplay, and I started reading Watchmen, which I didn't finish until today. It was a little right-wing for my taste, but it was also incredibly rich storytelling, so on that level, I loved it.

New to Blogroll

and new to blogging: my very dear friend Spastic Sally has a blog called Finding Athena. You should read her first post, because you will learn something that you never knew you wanted to learn, but will be thrilled to know.

New to blogroll

a cappella blog

It's more directed towards college aged a cappella groups than the one I sing in, but useful information, regardless.

Recommended

1. Coraline - Loki, Monkey and I saw this Saturday morning. Possibly the best use of 3D I've seen - they didn't use it just to hurl things into your faces, but to flesh out this stop-motion animated world. It was excellent, and everytime I see a promo for the movie, I want to go see it again.

2. Joe Strummer - The Future Is Unwritten - I watched this yesterday while I was cleaning my living room. They did not shy away from showing Joe Strummer, warts and all. I feel inspired right now, just thinking about this movie - that DIY punk ethos is sitting with me.

3. Positive pressure nasal irrigation - okay, this is not something anyone really wants to talk or hear about, but if you suffer from chronic sinus problems or allergies, you might be interested anyway. I just couldn't make myself get a neti pot, but this is a squeeze bottle version of the same thing, and honest to pete, my head felt lighter and I could breathe with ease immediately after using.

Full Circle

Saturday night, Loki and I got together with my friend, my psychotic sister G., and her friend S.

So how do you begin a conversation with someone you love dearly, but haven't seen in years? Naturally we started with quantum physics, what we called the eight minute conversation, about what would happen if the sun went out, and we had eight minutes left before the earth would be bereft of light and energy. Would we even be here for those eight minutes? And what would happen to the planet we live on? Does the universe jiggle like jello?

We moved from there onto the nature of reality itself. Are we here? Are we all experiencing the same reality? Do we only exist when others experience and realize us?

Then we moved onto food, and things we tried to remember about our past lives together, and what was the name of that coffeehouse in Middletown? And we talked about our families, and drew my family tree out so no one could get confused by all the Maureens and Kathleens and Bernadettes.

We talked about the movie we had seen earlier that evening, and about music (BTW: G, if you're reading this, remember when I was miming "playing the piano" and you interpreted that as "typing on the keyboard"? The phrase I was trying to think of was "tin-pan alley" - it came to me just before my exploding head syndrom kicked in as I fell asleep last night...nothing yet on the coffeehouse, but the information is in my brain somewhere and I will retrieve it.)

And we talked about white supremacists and how some towns have more flavor than others and how weird it is that Wallingford doesn't have the internet in their town hall, but how excellent Napoli's Pizza is. (S., if I had the presence of mind last night, I would have shown you that I have their number programmed into my cell phone, even though I live 35 miles away from it).

And then we talked about how we remain connected, even when apart, and Loki started talking about how it's the same for particles, and possibly even objects, and then we were back to the beginning of the circle.

48 Questions

via konagod

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
my Aunt Maureen

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
earlier today, when I was reading this blog post.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I have beautiful penmanship when I make the effort.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
turkey

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Yes, 2 of them.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I think so, but I guess it would depend on which other person I was.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
What do you think?

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Only if I were on The Amazing Race

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
I don't think I have one. I like cereal in general, but only eat it occasionally.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
I'm not picky about ice cream, but I think you know an ice cream brand/maker is great when the vanilla is great.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
height

15. RED OR PINK?
red

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
my damn deformed hip

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
I have been lucky to not have lost many people in my life up to this point, but I miss my friend Al sometimes. And also, Phil Hartman.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
It doesn't matter to me.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
gray pants and white/gray sneakers

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The sounds of the office.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
forest green

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
coffee, garlic, freshly baked bread, lilac blooms, new baby

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My husband

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
No one sent it to me

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
hurling and hockey, but only in person

27. HAIR COLOR?
Used to be V-8 orange, now it's more like a penny that has been around for a while

28. EYE COLOR?
Blue

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No, my body has betrayed me in many ways, but I am lucky enough to have 20/20 vision for now

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
cheese

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Not a big scary movie fan, and sometimes I like happy endings, but I am also comfortable with ambiguity

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Hamlet 2

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
purple

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Kisses & hugs.. All good.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
??Leslie maybe?

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
my husband

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
I'm not in a reading phase right now

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
don't have one

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
House

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S).
interesting music, certain babies laughing....at the church where I used to sing, when they had Communion, everyone got a little tiny plastic cup of grape juice, and when we were done drinking, everyone would pass their cups down, and the sound of the little cups being stacked was very pleasing.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Paris

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I sing, I can juggle, I can act, I can levitate (or at least make other people think I can levitate), and I have a great capacity for remembering useless pieces of information, like what someone was wearing when I first met them.

46 WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Hartford, CT

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Anyone who bothers.

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
At college

Did I ever tell you about my friend Leslie?

14 or so years ago, I auditioned for the female version of the Odd Couple at a community theater in Middletown. I had a good audition, and I was one of 4 people called back for the role of Olive Madison (obviously, the female version of Oscar Madison). I ended up getting the part that night, and I had a great time doing the show.

A year or so later, I auditioned for the play I Hate Hamlet, put on by the same community theater group, and I got the part of Gary Peter Lefkowitz*, the protagonists agent. Also cast in the play was Leslie, who played Real Estate agent Felicia Dantine.

So we were a week or two into rehearsal, and after one rehearsal we went out for coffee. I was sitting with Karen (who directed the Odd Couple) and Leslie, and we were having fun, talking and making each other laugh, and then Leslie told me, very seriously, that she had a confession to make.

She told me that for the past year, she had wanted me dead.** You see, she was one of the other people who got called back for the part of Olive Madison, and since Karen, the director, was her best friend, she assumed she was a shue-in for the part. But I got it instead.

Karen told me that then she began receiving a series of phone calls from Leslie:

"Karen, when Maureen breaks her leg, make sure to give me plenty of notice so I have all my lines memorized."

"Karen, does the rehearsal space have a sprinkler system, in case there's a fire?"

Karen explained to Leslie that I got the part because I had a certain vulnerability.

Leslie sniffed, "vunnerability" she said. "I can do vunnerability!"

I said "you can't even pronounce vulnerabilty!"

And thus a friendship was born. And I'm writing this tonight because Leslie and Karen and I got together today for lunch, then a little shopping and then hanging out at the bookstore. And she reads my blog, so I have to write about her, because she likes reading about herself. And because, okay, I love Leslie, and I'm glad she's my friend.

And did I mention that she has developed a game to help kids learn how to clean and organize their space? Because she has, and you can buy it here.

*I maintain that I must have a certain quality that reads as male, because this was not the first time I got cast in a male part, and it wasn't the last time, either.

**Leslie said that when she found out I had a child, she decided it would be okay with her if I were merely maimed.

Maybe President Obama *is* magic

Since President Obama was inaugurated:

I've lost 4 lbs.
I can open a newspaper without feeling ill
I can read the news online without my blood pressure rising
I can read blogs and feel happy instead of angry
I no longer clench my fists when I'm listening to NPR on the way home from work

Now if he could only clear up the lingering pain in my lower back...

My kingdom for a Vicodin!

Pain sucks.

My hip is always hurting, but I am experiencing some exquisite pain in my lower back. In that little dimple on the left-hand side, it is hot to the touch and hurts however I move.

On top of that, yesterday, my own husband told me I walked like Quasimodo. I feel like I'm just declining, physically, with each passing day.

I just don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm at my desk, on the verge of crying from the pain. And occasionally over the verge.

I feel that I should post something on this historic day...

So I'll share that I got a text from Sio as she was on her way to D.C. in the wee hours of the morning. We have not heard from her since, I hope she was able to feel part of the historic events today.

I can't tell if I'm more happy that a responsible adult with a brain is in charge, or that the old incompetent moron is gone.

Harmonious Soul (and Friends) in Concert

We have finally rescheduled our concert!

Come see a fabulous six member women's a cappella group perform a wide variety of music. We sing traditional as well as contemporary music including songs by James Taylor, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Etta James, Guns N Roses, and many more!

A few other performers will lend their talents to the night as well!

Tickets are $8/$5 for seniors and 12 and under

Friday, February 27, 2009
7:00 - 9:00 p.m.
Emmanuel Lutheran Church
60 Church Street
Manchester, CT 06040


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If you would like more information, please e-mail me at maurinsky@yahoo.com.

Celebrity cameos in my dreams

Lately, I've been having dreams with celebrity cameos in them. First, Jason Segal showed up in a couple of them - I assume this was due to seeing Jason and Little Jason in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Though these dreams were not sexual in nature, they did have a romantic sort of quality to them.

Last night, Daniel Letterle, who played Vlad in the movie Camp, showed up. Pretty obscure celebrity cameo, I grant you, but it gets better. In my dream, the kids from the movie Camp were having a press conference, and Daniel Letterle was in costume for his next project - he had a fake moustache and his hair was grayed at the temples, and he was wearing a 3 piece suit and a bowler hat. He and I wandered away from the press conference, and he confessed that he was terrified because a man named Culpepper was after him.

I pulled a book out of my jacket, and said "Do you mean this Culpepper?", and on the cover of the book was a man wearing the same 3 piece suit and bowler hat, who looked like he was crossing Abbey Road. Letterle was clearly terrified. We decided to find a place to hide. We were in a building that might have been a convention center or a hotel - there were a lot of big meeting rooms, and escalators, plus some balconies and wide open halls.

Letterle and I started climbing the stairs, and we got to a conference hall that was still messy from whatever event had just been held there. While we were there, a phone rang, and Letterle answered it and went pale. "Culpepper is here!" he said, and he ran off.

I went out onto the balcony and looked down into the big open hallway, and saw a man in a 3 piece suit and bowler hat. He paused and looked up in my direction (although he didn't see me). It was Culpepper, but Culpepper was played by Malcolm McDowell in my dream. And he was scary! So I ran away, and then I segued into another dream that did not feature any celebrities.

My subconscious, ladies and gentlemen! Let me know if you can make any sense of it!

A Day At The Beach

Yesterday morning, my alarm went off at 4:30 a.m. Those of you who notice the hours when I am online might take note that when I'm up at 4:30 a.m., that's at the end of a long day, not the beginning. But yesterday, it was the beginning of the day. Because my sister and husband made plans to go to the beach.

Yes, the beach. Yes, in January. It's not the place I would think of going, either. But I got up at 4:30 a.m., and we were headed out the door by 5:30 a.m. We were hoping to experience sunrise at the beach, but we had to make do with watching the sunrise from the car on our way to the beach. Once the sun was up, I realized I left my sunglasses in our car, at home.

The beach was a very different experience in winter. The sand was frozen, and it was a delightful experience to walk on it - I imagined I was standing on a distant planet where the frozen ground had a little give, a little spring in it. It was a lot less crowded, although we were never the only people there - at the Narragansett Public Beach, there was a clearly insane man who was surfing. It was also, of course, cold. I have been unable to find my awesome winter earflap hat, so I had to make do with wrapping a scarf over my head, babushka style, to keep my delicate ears warm.

My sister was on a quest for seaglass, and she found plenty of it, as did Sio. We also found: frozen starfish, huge clamshells, a plastic turtle, an earring painted to look like a pineapple (Loki: "I found Spongebob's house!"), a moldy English muffin, a peanut (me: started singing the Found A Peanut song), peach pits, cigarette butts aplenty, and some pretty shells.

After we finished at the beach, it was about 11am. We decided we were ready for lunch, and we drove to downtown Wakefield, RI, where we stopped in at this excellent breakfast place called Phil's. It was a perfect little greasy spoon, I don't think any of us had a meal that cost more than $5.00, and I didn't feel hungry for the rest of the day. Loki asked for detailed instructions on how to make the homefries, because he deemed them the best homefries he ever had. My sister had a strawberry pancake that was bigger than my head (and my head is huge), and there were whole slices of strawberry in it - it was gorgeous.

Then we walked down to a bookstore that sold both used and new books. I almost bought a music book that was published in the 1860s - it was only $7.50, and it had some pro-Union songs in it, but it also made me sneeze with each turned page, so I left it there. I did flip through a book called Songs of Man that featured folk songs, showing how regardless of culture, certain types of songs developed from nearly every part of the globe. Including a whole chapter on folk songs about Cuckoos. What a world.

On the way home, we stopped to see our younger sister and her new(ish) baby, Clara, who is darling - all smiles and giggles. Clara and I played peekaboo for a while, she jumped every time I said "boo!", and then would giggle and smile. Babies are cute, and they are even better when you don't have to change their diapers.

All in all, it was a great day, although the last two thirds of it were kind of fuzzy for me, since I was all punchy and silly because of the early wake-up.