I hate public restrooms

I found myself in need of a restroom while in public today, so I was forced to make a foray into the surprisingly clean bathroom of a Target store.

Men might not know this, but women are pigs when it comes to public restrooms. There is usually a lot of toilet paper on the floor, often toilets go unflushed, and today I saw a urine splattered seat in the first stall I opened. Blech.

Women either cover or hover when it comes to using a public restroom. The coverers sometimes get lucky and find the public restroom provider has some paper toilet cover seats available. But more often, they place strips of toilet paper along the seat before they sit down. Sometimes, they do not bother flushing those strips down the toilet, and so paper ends up on the floor, making a mess.

Hoverers are worse. The hoverers keep their posteriors raised over the seat lest they contract some horrible illness from allowing their delicate flesh to sit on a toilet seat. Unfortunately, hoverers are also the ones responsible for leaving behind urine splattered seats, which is why people like me have to constantly Kegel to make sure we don't have to enter a public restroom.

Ultimately, the people who are most adament about protecting their booties from bacteria are the ones who increase the likelihood that there *will* be bacteria to contact. If I could ask a favor of my fellow women's room users, it would be to clean up after yourself! Double check that everything's flushed, pick up any toilet paper you drop, and wash your hands!