Update

At the end of this week, I will be divorced for 2 months. It feels more like a divorce now, because he's not around the house very much.

I have been working my butt off (not literally, I think I've actually gained weight) getting the house ready. It is a lot of work! I have been maintaining the areas I've cleaned fairly well, at the very least, I equalize them once a week so for at least one day a week they are clean and free of clutter.

I did a lot of decluttering this weekend. Back when Sio's boyfriend and his brothers came to help me clean out the basement, they discovered some of those Rubbermaid totes, so they brought them up to the living room, where they sat for months. Saturday morning, I pulled them apart and started several bins: one for stuff I wanted to keep for me and Maeve, one for Loki's stuff, one for photos & pictures (which we'll have to go through to divide), and one for stuff I didn't want, or wasn't sure whether it belonged to anyone in particular. I'm happy to say that this last bin is the most full, in fact, it's overflowing.

I also did some work in the dining room, which was sort of our catch-all room. I took care of some of the clutter that had become invisible to me because I had seen it so much - like the tinsel on the dining room chandelier, a decoration from some Christmas past that I just stopped noticing. While I cleaned, I watched a marathon of Hoarders: Buried Alive, which kept me motivated to work a little harder.

We (and by we, I mean I) am going to have a tag sale this Saturday. I have some larger furniture items but it's mostly going to be small stuff. I hope to make enough money to pay someone to do a real deep cleaning on the house - although I hope to get the floors done first, since that will be pretty dusty. It's not looking good for getting the house listed before the end of April, but hope springs eternal.

Deadlines

I'm feeling a sort of giddy anxiety right now, because I just made an appointment with a realtor. I have 2 weeks and a day to get the house presentable. I guess I know what I'll be doing every evening and for the next two weekends!

Everything's different, nothing's changed

Only, maybe, slightly rearranged.

Next Tuesday will be the one month-iversary of my divorce, and I can't help but think of these lyrics from the song "Sorry/Grateful" from the musical Company. Everything *is* different, but nothing has changed.

I'm still in the house, and working on getting it fixed up. I keep running into the problem of not having enough money, because the ex has cut back on his work hours and has lots of financial problems of his own (and of his own making, as many of his problem are related to his reckless driving). He still claims the address as his own, although we only see him 1 or 2 days a week, which is fine for me, but it hurts me to see that he's put his children on the back burner.

Despite the financial squeeze and all the work on my to-do list, M. and I are having fun together. Things feel easier because we don't have to take the needs of my ex into consideration. The amount of time spent waiting has declined to almost nothing. I'm on time to work and everything else.

My dad has been helping renovate my half bath, and that's almost finished. By the end of the week, it will probably be completed. I'm trying to decide whether I should just put the house on the market now or try to do a few more things, but with money being the way it is, I may be forced to do the former, which sucks because it really isn't a huge amount of money that is required to make the house better, but it's more than I have, and more than I can hope the ex to contribute.

Twitter Throughout The Ages

Sadly, No is always good for a laugh, but they are killing me with their Twitter Throughout The Ages posts. Do yourself a favor and check it out.

My 10 Favorite TV moments that occurred sometime in the last 10 years

In no particular order:

When: 2009
What: Community
Episode: Football, Feminism and You

Jeff (Joel McHale) is trying to talk Troy (Donald Glover) into joining the Greendale Community College football team, because the dean (Jim Rash) has threatened to send out mailers featuring Jeff, which could harm his future career, unless Jeff can convince Troy to join the Human Beings.

Jeff: Football is a part of you, Troy, I can see it in your eyes!
Troy: That's racist!
Jeff: Your soul!
Troy: That's racist.
Jeff: Your heart?
Troy: That's gay.
Jeff: That's homophobic.
Troy: That's black!
Jeff: That's racist!
Troy: Damn

When: 2006
What: How I Met Your Mother
Episode: Slap Bet

Somtimes, sitcoms A stories are good and the B stories fall flat. Sometimes the A story is so-so and the B story is hilarious. In this episode, both storylines build to a beautiful peak and come together to make one of the funniest episodes of TV, ever, with the icing on the cake being the reveal of Robin's secret...her past as a Canadian teen pop star.



When: 2002
What: Firefly
Episode: Out of Gas

It's one of my favorite episodes of one of my top 3 favorite shows. Three timelines are delineated with lighting changes, and they twist and turn together to tell the story of how exactly the crew of Serenity got together in the first place, along with why Captain Mal is bleeding and passed out with what looks to be a nothing piece of equipment in his hand.

When: 2001
What: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Episode: Once More, With Feeling

As established by my list of movie moments, I'm a sucker for a musical, and with Once More, With Feeling, I got a musical episode of my favorite TV show. Sure, not all the singing was stellar, but the episode itself was perfection: it advanced the story, developed the characters, and even gave a plausible (for the Buffyverse) explanation for why everyone was singing and dancing.



When: 2008
What: The Middleman
Episode: all of them

In the summer of 2008, I found myself watching and falling in love with this show. I was sad while I watched it, because I could sense that no one else was watching it, and sure enough, ABC Family canceled it after a run of 12 wonderfully entertaining episodes. Based on the graphic novels by Javier Grillo-Marxuach and Les MacClain, The Middleman told the story of Wendy Watson (aka DubDub, aka Dubby), a struggling artist who is recruited to be a superhero in training. In addition, the friendship between Lacey and Wendy was perfection - two young women on TV who talked about things other than men. The dialogue was rapidfire and occasionally filthy, and the situations were ludicrous but entertaining, and I'm sad that I don't get any more episodes. ART CRAWL!



When: 2006
What: Six Feet Under
Episode: Everyone's Waiting

The last few minutes of one of the greatest television series ever. It was perfection.



When: 2007
What: Pushing Daisies
Episode: All of them

Whimsical and more than a little absurb, unbelievable set and art direction, occasional singing, and sweet as pie for every minute. The world really should have Darling Mermaid Darlings and a restaurant called The Pie Hole.





When: 2004
What: Wonderfalls
Episode: Crime Dog

I never caught Wonderfalls when it was actually on TV, but I rented the series from Netflix after catching the first season of Pushing Daisies, since both were created by Bryan Fuller. It had the trademark quirkiness and whimsy of Pushing Daisies, but the main character, Jaye, was decidedly not sweet. She was an Ivy League educated young woman with a degree in philosophy who had no ambition, and worked in a gift shop at Niagara Falls. I liked all the episodes, but I guess I have a little thing for tales told out of order, so this episode, which starts with something that happens more than halfway through the episode, is the one I have to go with. You can watch the whole thing on YouTube. What you need to know: Jaye gets cryptic messages from inanimate animal objects.

When: 2006ish?
What: So You Think You Can Dance
Episode: First performance episode season 3

There are a lot of dances I love that I've seen on this show, but this was my first exposure to the genius of Wade Robson, and for that, it will always have a special place in my heart.



When: 2000
What: Angel
Episode: She

It's truly a terrible episode of Angel that is completely redeemed by this clip and the scenes that play over the closing credits.

Why oh why

Why am I so tired at 6pm, when I can't go to bed, and so not tired at 11:30, when I should be in bed?

Re-Viewing

The Siren says tis the season for re-viewing, and she recaps her 20 favorite moments in film to review. So I started thinking about mine, and since I've been immersed in Glee and So You Think You Can Dance and even a wee little bit of The Sing-Off, they are largely musical in nature.

In no particular order:

1. My Sister Eileen - the dance battle between Bob Fosse and Tommy Rall


2. This of course made me think of the first time I saw Bob Fosse, which was probably when I was 7 or 8. It was his short little bit of choreography in the number "From This Moment On" from Kiss Me, Kate! I was electrified.


3.Then I couldn't help but think of movies that Bob Fosse directed, and I immediately went to Cabaret. Aside from the numerous musical numbers that knocked my socks off, the moment in that movie that got me the first time I saw it: Michael York and Liza Minelli talking about Maximilian. Michael York as Brian says "Screw Maximilian". Liza as Sally says: "I do." and then Brian says "So do I." That blew my mind when I was 11 or so, and was probably the first time I ever had an awareness of homosexuality.

4. Thinking of Bob Fosse made me think of All That Jazz, and I couldn't possibly pull just one moment from that movie, but then I thought of Roy Scheider in Jaws: "We're going to need a bigger boat." Totally a cliche now, but it wouldn't be if he hadn't delivered that line so perfectly.

5. I then started thinking about other movies that I can watch over and over again, and I went to Singing In The Rain. I have to agree with The Siren that every word Lina Lamont says is comedy gold.

6. As much as I love Singing In The Rain, I have a slight preference for On The Town. I love every number in this show, but I have a soft spot for You Can Count On Me.


7.Fred Astaire going drum crazy in Easter Parade


8. Marian the Librarian from The Music Man - Shirley Jones was so beautiful, and she was 5 months pregnant when they filmed this scene.


9. Madeleine Kahn, feeling a little sleepy:


10. What's Up Doc? The whole movie is wonderful, but my favorite scene is the courtroom scene.


11. Raising Arizona - it's hard for me to pick just one scene, but I guess I would lean towards all the scenes that involve Glenn and Dot visiting H.I. and Ed, closely followed by every scene with John Goodman as Gayle Snoates. But then there's the wonderful opening scene, where the counselor asks "What do you mean when you say "trapped" in a woman's body?" and the prisoner answers "Well, sometimes I get the menstrual cramps real hard."

12. My kids know I'm a huge sap and I cry at almost everything, but I have to admit that I enjoy crying at certain movies, and one of them is The Family Stone. The scene that always kills me is when Elizabeth Reaser is watching Judy Garland sing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas". The context is that she knows her mother is dying, and of course the song itself couldn't be more melancholy. My second favorite scene is when Luke Wilson is describing his dream to Sarah Jessica Parker. "You were just a little girl in a flannel night gown. And you were shovelling snow from the walk in front of our house. And I was the snow, I was the snow. And everywhere it landed and everywhere it covered. You scoop me up with a big red shovel. You scoop me up."

13. Prick Up Your Ears - wonderful film about the playwright Joe Orton (Gary Oldman), who was brutally murdered by his long-time lover Kenneth Halliwell (Alfred Molina), who was a wee bit insane. There is much to love for me in this movie (I like watching men kiss other men), but one of my favorite scenes is when Halliwell tries to get something started with Orton, and Orton brushes his hand away and says "Have a wank." Halliwell replies: "Have a wank? Have a wank? I can't just have a wank. I need three days' notice to have a wank. You can just stand there and do it. Me, it's like organizing D-Day. Forces have to be assembled, magazines bought, the past dredged for some suitably unsavoury episode, the dog-eared thought of which can still produce a faint flicker of desire! Have a wank, it'd be easier to raise the Titanic."

14. Room With A View - aside from watching men kiss each other, I am also fond of movies with full frontal made nudity (aside from porn, which...ech, not for me). Room With A View has the most playful, innocent full frontal male nudity scene that's probably ever been filmed, when Reverend Beebe (Simon Callow), George Emerson (Julian Sands) and Freddy Honeychurch (Rupert Graves) decide to have a bathe.

15. The Right Stuff - my favorite scene, quoted in full:
Scott Carpenter: John's right! Now, whether we like it or not, we're public figures. Whether we deserve it or not, people are going to look up to us. We have got a tremendous responsibility here. Alan Shepard: You cannot tell a pilot what he's doing when he's not flying! [Argument continues]
Gus Grissom: Wait a minute, wait a minute!
[turns Glenn toward him]
Gus Grissom: You've got it all wrong, the issue here ain't pussy. The issue here is monkey. John Glenn: What?
Gus Grissom: Us. We are the monkey.
Deke Slayton: What Gus is saying is that we're missing the point. What Gus is saying is that we all heard the rumors that they want to send a monkey up first. Well, none of us wants to think that they're gonna send a monkey up to do a man's work. But what Gus is saying is that what they're trying to do to us is send a man up to do a monkey's work. Us, a bunch of college-trained chimpanzees!
Gus Grissom: Fuckin' A, bubba.
Deke Slayton: Alright, so what Gus is saying is that we've got to change things around here. He's saying that we are pilots. And we know more about what we need to fly this thing than anybody else. So what we have to do is to alter the experiment. And what that comes down to is who is gonna control this thing from here on out.
Gordon Cooper: What Gus is saying here is that we've got to stick together on this deal

16. Serenity - Okay, I can't pick a moment, I just love the hell out of this movie.

17. Miller's Crossing - Albert Finney listening to Danny Boy and then shooting the crap out of the mobsters who are out to get him.

18. Shallow Grave - the final scene - Ewan McGregor is nailed to the floor, but he's got a smile on his face, because he knows where the money is.

19. Rear Window - When Jimmy Stewart introduces his neighbors to Grace Kelly by the nicknames he's given them.

20. The Dead - that final scene, with the voiceover of the last few paragraphs of Joyce's story.
One by one, we're all becoming shades. Better to pass boldly into that other world, in the full glory of some passion, than fade and wither dismally with age. How long you locked away in your heart the image of your lover's eyes when he told you that he did not wish to live. I've never felt that way myself towards any woman, but I know that such a feeling must be love. Think of all those who ever were, back to the start of time. And me, transient as they, flickering out as well into their grey world. Like everything around me, this solid world itself which they reared and lived in, is dwindling and dissolving. Snow is falling. Falling in that lonely churchyard where Michael Furey lies buried. Falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living, and the dead.

Project Runway Puzzler

How can a woman with the same hairstyle as Cameron Diaz in "There's Something About Mary" be taken seriously as a critic of fashion?

Wrecked

Toast has a point: I don't want to share this with the world.

Where the Wild Things Are

Maeve and I went to see this movie today.

Intellectually, I know that all the Wild Things are parts of Max's personlity and psyche, but as someone who experienced abuse as a child, the character of Carol was extremely upsetting to me.

The other thing that upset me was Douglas after Carol attacked him. The only thing I could think of was the very upsetting scene in the movie Titus (if you've seen that movie, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about).

I was a ltitle sad that I couldn't embrace the movie without bringing those things to it, but I couldn't.

OTOH: The Fantastic Mr. Fox looks like it will be a lot of fun.

Dear Internet

You have been very unsatisfying for me this evening. Please improve your performance or I will be forced to return to books.

Once a month update

I feel very self-conscious when I go to the therapist. I start to think about my body language and whether it's communicating something different than my words, and then I start going all wacky with arm crossing, fingers clasping, hair touching, and probably making a boatload of weird facial expressions. I like my therapist, though - I've been to a few over the years and this is the first one that I feel really good about.

I'm coping. I was doing very well with cleaning, decluttering and packing, but I've hit a wall. I need to get my motivation back.

I've been reading trashy novels to pass the time. I'm almost done with the Sookie Stackhouse series. I also watched Season 1 of True Blood, which I borrowed from my sister-in-law. Way, way better than the books. My prurient interest in Alexander Skarsgaard makes me feel old and pervy, but his appeal is undeniable.

Earlier today, I was feeling on the verge of being sick...I thought I might be feverish and I felt slightly nauseated. But now I feel completely normal. Still, I'm going to take some Nyquil before I go to bed tonight.

What's happening

I haven't posted in a while, and I finally feel like writing about why: I'm getting divorced. I almost can't believe it, but it's happening, and I think it's the right decision. This December will be our 21st and last anniversary.

I always thought we'd be one of those couples that was married forever...I think a lot of people who know us thought the same thing. But there were communication problems, and then infidelity, and so...it's over.

It's very weird right now. We are living together. We are still sharing the one car. We are still living very much the same way, but with these new, invisible boundaries.

I know, I know

I haven't written much. That will probably continue for a while. There is a lot going on in my personal life right now that requires attention.

Politics

I can hardly stand to watch the news or read the paper, because the media both sucks and blows. It's simple: the Republicans have ZERO interest in solving (or participating in solutions to) any of the problems facing this country while there is a Democratic president in the White House and a Democratic majority in the House & Senate. They have one job, which is to stop Democrats from succeeding. They don't give a shit about 47 million uninsured Americans, they don't give a shit about job creation, they don't give a shit about the economy, the only thing they care about is stopping the Democrats from implementing their policies. That's it.

I have plenty of criticims for the Democrats, which mainly can be boiled down to: if you keep giving in to the temper tantrums of the toddlers on the right, you can keep expecting to fail.

SLIFR Quiz

1) Second-favorite Stanley Kubrick film.
Full Metal Jacket, although I must add the proviso that I have not seen all his films.

2) Most significant/important/interesting trend in movies over the past decade, for good or evil.
For good: increased accessibility to a plethora of movies from various non-studio sources via various technologies and the existence of businesses like Netflix.
For evil: the continued success of romantic comedies that are neither romantic nor funny, as well as the casting rules that give us young women partnered with old men.

3) Bronco Billy (Clint Eastwood) or Buffalo Bill Cody (Paul Newman)?
I can't answer, I haven't seen either of these films

4) Best Film of 1949.
The Third Man

5) Joseph Tura (Jack Benny) or Oscar Jaffe (John Barrymore)?
Oscar Jaffe

6) Has the hand-held shaky-cam directorial style become a visual cliché?
I think that would depend on the context in which it is used.

7) What was the first foreign-language film you ever saw?
Le ballon rouge

8) Charlie Chan (Warner Oland) or Mr. Moto (Peter Lorre)?
Mr. Moto

9) Favorite World War II drama (1950-1970).
Catch-22...okay, I cheated, it's not exactly a drama.

10) Favorite animal movie star.
Asta

11) Who or whatever is to blame, name an irresponsible moment in cinema.
Another ongoing complaint from me about romantic comedies - stalking as a romantic act.

12) Best Film of 1969.
Best...I don't know, Midnight Cowboy, maybe. I have a soft spot for Sweet Charity, personally. You could see Fosse the director honing his directorial eye in this one.

13) Name the last movie you saw theatrically, and also on DVD or Blu-ray.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince at the movie theater
The War Zone on DVD

14) Second-favorite Robert Altman film.
The Player

15) What is your favorite independent outlet for reading about movies, either online or in print?
I don't have one, but I'm partial to Self-Styled Siren's blog

16) Who wins? Angela Mao or Meiko Kaji? (Thanks, Peter!)
No clue

17) Mona Lisa Vito (Marisa Tomei) or Olive Neal (Jennifer Tilly)?
Mona Lisa Vito

18) Favorite movie that features a carnival setting or sequence.
The Elephant Man

19) Best use of high-definition video on the big screen to date.
No clue

20) Favorite movie that is equal parts genre film and a deconstruction or consideration of that same genre.
In The Mouth of Madness

21) Best Film of 1979.
All That Jazz is my favorite, if not the best

22) Most realistic and/or sincere depiction of small-town life in the movies.
I like Siren's answer - for some reason, I can only think of horror movies

23) Best horror movie creature (non-giant division).
Maybe this is why? I'm going to go with the Alien from Alien

24) Second-favorite Francis Ford Coppola film.
The Conversation

25) Name a one-off movie that could have produced a franchise you would have wanted to see.
Serenity

26) Favorite sequence from a Brian De Palma film.
I can remember a sequence that showed a man following a woman, but I don't remember which movie it was - I jsut remember feeling a sense of dread as it went on. Otherwise, the only movie of his that I remember explicitly is Carrie, and I guess the dream sequence at the end would be my favorite part.

27) Favorite moment in three-strip Technicolor.
Dorothy opens the door to Oz

28) Favorite Alan Smithee film. (Thanks, Peter!)
don't know

29) Crash Davis (Kevin Costner) or Morris Buttermaker (Walter Matthau)?
Morris Buttermaker - I have problems with Kevin Costner

30) Best post-Crimes and Misdemeanors Woody Allen film.
Bullets Over Broadway

31) Best Film of 1999.
Best is maybe The War Zone...Three Kings was also very good

32) Favorite movie tag line.
Don't Go In The Water

33) Favorite B-movie western.
don't know

34) Overall, the author best served by movie adaptations of her or his work.
don't know

35) Susan Vance (Katharine Hepburn) or Irene Bullock (Carole Lombard)?
Irene Bullock

36) Favorite musical cameo in a non-musical movie.
Meryl Streep singing Amazing Grace at the end of Silkwood

37) Bruno (the character, if you haven’t seen the movie, or the film, if you have): subversive satire or purveyor of stereotyping?
I have't seen the movie, but I suspect a little from column A, a little from column B

38) Five film folks, living or deceased, you would love to meet. (Thanks, Rick!)
Preston Sturges, Alfred Hitchcock, Billy Wilder, George Sanders (if only because of everything I've read about him on Siren's blog), Orson Wells

Cheap Used Car Needed

I have a budget of $2000, and I need a car. I've been looking, and I will be doing some test-driving this weekend, but I thought I would harness the awesome power of my blog to bring the cars to me.

If you or anyone you know is selling a used car, preferably a 4 door automatic*, that will reliably get me through the next 10 months or so, and will easily pass an inspection if it is more than 10 years old, without requiring extensive repairs, please let me know.

*Can and will drive manual transmission, but my orthopedist will get mad at me if he catches wind of it.

Feeling particularly lonely tonight

because I didn't have rehearsal. I usually do the bulk of my real life socializing on Monday nights, and we skipped tonight. And my stories are much funnier with my facial expressions.

When did I become so boring?

I've written so many posts about the weather, it's a little embarrassing. I used to have a life filled with rehearsals and interesting conversations, and lately, it's all whining about the rain, hanging clothes on my clothesline and shopping for tents.

What happened to me?

Oh, weather, I can't stay mad at you

Not when you bring me days like yesterday and today. I am looking forward to some real summer weather, where it's hot enough that a swim is refreshing instead of something I have to brace myself to do, but clear blue skies, sunshine and breeze are the best.