Deadlines

I'm feeling a sort of giddy anxiety right now, because I just made an appointment with a realtor. I have 2 weeks and a day to get the house presentable. I guess I know what I'll be doing every evening and for the next two weekends!

Everything's different, nothing's changed

Only, maybe, slightly rearranged.

Next Tuesday will be the one month-iversary of my divorce, and I can't help but think of these lyrics from the song "Sorry/Grateful" from the musical Company. Everything *is* different, but nothing has changed.

I'm still in the house, and working on getting it fixed up. I keep running into the problem of not having enough money, because the ex has cut back on his work hours and has lots of financial problems of his own (and of his own making, as many of his problem are related to his reckless driving). He still claims the address as his own, although we only see him 1 or 2 days a week, which is fine for me, but it hurts me to see that he's put his children on the back burner.

Despite the financial squeeze and all the work on my to-do list, M. and I are having fun together. Things feel easier because we don't have to take the needs of my ex into consideration. The amount of time spent waiting has declined to almost nothing. I'm on time to work and everything else.

My dad has been helping renovate my half bath, and that's almost finished. By the end of the week, it will probably be completed. I'm trying to decide whether I should just put the house on the market now or try to do a few more things, but with money being the way it is, I may be forced to do the former, which sucks because it really isn't a huge amount of money that is required to make the house better, but it's more than I have, and more than I can hope the ex to contribute.